Expectations are quite simply looking forward to something occurring, to achieving an the outcome that you expected.  Pretty simple.

But more importantly, your expectations are an incredibly powerful tool that leverages your abilities and thoughts to increase your power and the probability that you will achieve your goals and meet your objectives.

How do you use your expectations?  Very simply, when you use your expectations properly, you look at a project, a meeting, or any situation and decide what you expect as an outcome.  It can be as simple as deciding what you want to accomplish in a given day, to deciding what you want to have happen when you meet with someone. 

When you set your expectations, it helps you focus on making sure that you achieve your goal, that you are treated in the way that you want to be treated, and that you present yourself as a leader in control of yourself and your situation.  If you go into a job interview with the expectation that you will present yourself well and that you will get a job offer, the odds are greatly improved that you will get the job you want.

Like any leveraging activity, if used properly, it can be used to strengthen you.  If used improperly, it can inhibit and weaken you.   If you go into a job interview convinced that you will not get the job, you might as well not bother with the interview, as you are wasting your time and the interviewer's time as well.  If you go to a party and decide that no one will want to meet you, plan to spend the evening alone.  However, if you decide that you will be interested and interesting at the party, prepare for an evening of pleasant meetings and scintillating conversation.

First of all, however, you need to determine exactly what are your expectations.  When you go into a situation, what outcome do you want?  Too many people don’t think about this, they just want to get going.  What is the best way to determine your expectations?  Look at your goals. 

Next, communicate your expectations.  If you don't communicate your expectations to others, how are they going to be able to fulfill your expectations?  How do you communicate your expectations? It varies by situation.

It most cases, it is very simple, just tell people up front what you expect:  If you want a raise, tell your boss, "I am meeting with you to ask for a raise".  If you feel that someone is not listening to your opinions, tell them "I think my opinions matter and I want you to listen to them."  If you want to join a group after work, go to a member of the group and tell them "Your group looks interesting; is it possible for me to join you?"  (Worried about them saying no?  See the section on Worry)

In other cases, you may have to indicate more by your actions.  If you want to become involved in a conversation at a party, you must simply join the group and start listening.

There are always times when things don't work out as we expected.  When we miss the simple putt, when we stumble on the words at a presentation, when we hear a "no" when we wanted a "yes" - it happens to everyone.

First of all, make sure that you have communicated your expectations clearly.  (How can you find out? - Try asking!)  If you have not communicated your expectations again until they are clear. 

Were your expectations appropriate?  If not, do you need to adjust them.  After all, this just might have been the wrong place or the wrong time for things to work out as you planned.  If you are convinced that your expectations are appropriate, then carry on and continue to use your current expectations, perhaps modifying the approach you want to take.

Finally, if you feel that your expectations were not appropriate, then modify them.  There is nothing that says you cannot modify your expectations at any time - you are in charge of your own expectations! 

Because it is so important to our self-development, let's look at what we should do when others continue to treat us inappropriately...